another day at work jux passed...statrin to get used to him not messaging mi liao le..hiax..super duper sad...feel so much like cryin my ass off...but i can't..had a new trainee for the past 3 day..today is her 3rd day wif mi..on my way home in the bus i sms her tis..." hey hope you've learnt something from me these few days..sry if i yelled or shouted at you..hope u enjoy doin shortcake wif mi =DD " instead she said tat i'm being very very patient wif her..am i??hahhas i have no idea..i'm famous for being hot headed and impatient..i dunno..hahahs..sat is babe de birthday party liao le..dunno wat to get for her yet sia..sianx..wan to make a scarp book for her but got no money sia..have to wait till 20th when pay comes..so i'll jux settle for a cake right now..1kg le royale..top i'll deco a white chocolate heart..means tml morning i have to go to work early to temp chocolate and do it liao le..surroundings will either be fruits or mini macaroons..hmmm..we'll see abt it den..hahahs..DON care them liao le lar..lookin forward to tml when i meet skinny and king kong for movie and supper session....RED CLIFF 2 is the movie we'll be catching..hahas..can see tony leung..super handsome..hahhas..the older he gets the more handsome he is..hahhas..blehx..why am i so into ppl who are older than mi???hmmmmm..probably the sense of security i get from them ba..hhahhas..i shLd stop sms-ing him for now....number of sms from him is gettin lesser and lesser to a big fat 0 today..hiax...i shLd die heart liao le by now....HENG HUI WEN! STOP THINKIN ABT HIM! time to head for lala land liao le now..nights nights..i hope i meet my prince charming soon........

its been a freakin long time since i last updated..but..here i am back once again..attachment finished 31st june..i cant bear to leave them all so i stayed on to do part time for sam for a few more days before i stay work at canele..which is another new beinging for mi..starting, i really had a big difficulty workin there..ppl there are all so so lorx..compare to the family i had in shang..the ties tat we foster for the past 9 months..form nothing to a big family..the teamwork there cannot be compared..hiax..ran into alot of problems when i was workin there..was posted to the strawberry shortcake section..under one china sup..hiax..tat makes mi even more "tao dua" in hokkien..hiax.communication problem become the main issue..the number of orders everyday keep mi awake at night..i make numerous nightmare abt it every night..jux shortcake itself is already giving mi so many nightmare..i was there alone..fighting for myself..if i die means i die..no one is goin to help u even if u throw ur things on the floor sayin u quit.many a times i feel like quitting..but i didan..kor and sam both approach mi to make a come back at shang..but i didan go back..because i wanted to stay on and learn from chef..i know i'll be able to learn loads for him..hence the decision to stay at canele..as time goes on..i stayed in shortcake section for almost 4 months i guess..it was onli recently that i was transferred to macaroon section..but i'm still under HIM because he's in charge of both the section..ties will colleagues i would prefer to say is still okies..i listen to wat daddy ken said when it comes to work,colleague is always colleague..friends and colleagues are different..tis u mux understand..i listened..i help them out whenever i can..i learn whenever i can..i learn whenever i was given the chance and not rejectin the chance to learn new things even though it was way off my workin hours wif no OT pay..i don mind as long as i get to learn new things..things turn sour when i went to work..relation wif friens soured..i feel so lost..i feel like cryin..but there is no shoulder for mi to lean on..i can onli rely on myself for now..even though i always give ppl the impression that i am very independent..very strong..and so on and so fore..in fact i doubt i am like tat..deep inside mi..i jux a normal gal..i jux want to achieve omething in my life for mum and dad..to make them proud..for my grandmas and grandpas..for my absence durin family gathering every weekends..i really look forward to seein them live healthily and live a longer life..to see mi get married..i wan them to see the birth of my children too..i wan them to be the happiest grandparents ever to lived..back at work everyday , i do macaroons daily..imagine 8kg icing sugar and grs almond..with another 3 kg of egg white wif 4 kg of sugar..tat's the least amount of macaroon i do daily..my hands are gettin more and more muscular..it's not even like wat a gal hand is suppose to be..after u fold them in you still have to let the machine pipe the macaroons out and u PAT the tray manually for them to stay flat..god! hands get so RED everytime i finsh doin it..but i still keep goin..i laugh i smile wif them..but all i wan is to be myself..i look forward to goin to merlion park everytime..wif a can of beer..enjoyin the "sea" breeze..basking under the stars and moons..it really makes mi more relaxed than ever..it was until the appearance of someone tat makes mi happier..i look forward to his sms everyday..i look forward to meetin him everytime..i look forward to see him waitin for mi to finish work everytime we go out..i look forward to all of him..i noe i like him..and i noe he likes mi too..i look forward to hanging out wif him till late in the night..i look forward to leaning on his shoulder for support..tis is the shoulder i've been searching for..i feel very safe whenever i'm out wif him..i noe nothing will go bad..but........things didan work out the way u thought it would be..he still tink of his ex..no matter wat i do..he jux won't change his mind..tat really saddens mi alot...i hope he noes tat..i guess firstly is the age diff..i already told him..i don mind it as long as i'm happy and he's happy..secondly..he still can't get over his ex..who is my frien at shang..hiax..he asked..wat are u gonna do if she noes abt it..i simply told him..she'll give us her blessing no matter wat..tat's wat friends are for i guess..but...having been rejected thrice.....i'm startin to lose heart....i tear but not cry whenever i listen to one song..jux friends by david tao..he really sing my feelin out..hiax..! i really have no idea wat's goin on in my life..! haven told bud abt it..recently alot of things happen between all of us..hiax! i have no freaking idea wat's goin on in our life man! i dunno why we are keepin things from each other.! i really dunno why..many a time i feel very left out for the activities tat they are having..i'm always the one being left out..work is stoppin mi from meetin u guys..i hope u all do understand..i can't be there wif u gals always..but i hope i can..i nv regretted lettin the 3 of u into my life..u gals bought changes to my life..i'll always remember it..i hope we'll be able to hold a 4 some wedding or engagement together..tat was our pact..it was until i intro my cousin into cartel tat i realise tat i was so easily replaced.........everything u all do or wat u would ask her along..you would mention her to mi..wat the probdude..any idea how i felt back then when u said all these words??i noe i should not feel jealous..but i can't help it..i dunno why..hiax......i hope time will be able to heal every single shit tat i'm goin through right now.....erase the love i have for him..since he jux wans to be frien den i'll go according to his wishes..lets jux be friens den.....it hard for mi to do so.....but i have to do it..slowly but not now......i hope when bud reads tis she'll gif mi her support for wat i do..hiax..my resoultion for the yr 2009 is to earn more money..learn as much as i can..den i can go for FHA competition for chocolate show piece..and do my country proud and ultimately..my parents and family proud..i wanna save as much as i can..go taiwan tis yr..and hopefully aussie too..den after i'll start saving for spain or france trip..to gain more knowledge as time goes on..and to pass them on when i have them....went for the pierre herme scholarship written paper recently...i really really hope i will be one of the top 5 to get into the practical exam....i won't dream so much of gettin the scholarship myself...i'm contended jux to get into the practical..to test my creativity..and to see wat others are capable of doin....i jux hope i'll find someone that loves mi as much as i love him..i'm afraid to be alone..............pls don leave mi alone......whenever i'm out i see couples i'll feel very "xin suan" whenever it's valentines day,i'll feel even more "xin xuan" up till now , i've nv celebrated valentines day before..hiax.........time to slp..hopefully when i wake up everything will jux be a dream...i L*&* u